"Listen God. You and I both know that we ( +Annette Bosworth, MD ) are doing our best.
You can see we are putting everything we have into this.
If you want us to do better you got to show up and do your part of the deal.
The "Hell with it" you know we are not capable of doing anything less than our best because that's our job.
Just give us a high five on our way through the pearly gates and say, "The two of you did an awesome job!"
I think that if we are allowed just a little bit of time to heal we will grow from all that has happened to us Post Traumatic Growth. The issue is that we are not given that time everyday the attacks come from the same man. This is called "economic terrorism" - attacking constantly so that there is no way to defend - historicaly the preferred weapon of corrupt governments.